I did a poll in Weddings, Wine & DIY to see what my next blog topic should be (because let’s be honest, I could write about a million things when it comes to planning a wedding)! You guys chose bouquet and garter toss!
First, let’s talk about where the garter toss originated from. If you don’t know this already, definitely keep reading because it’s really interesting (and weird AF). Tossing the garter is an old time tradition. Brides and grooms used to have show proof that they had consummated their marriage. Friends and family members would join the couple in their room to witness this and would then need to leave the room with the “proof” aka the garter. Yup, you read that correctly! And, it gets better (or should I say worse). Having items of clothing from the bride and groom was considered lucky so while the couple was consummating their marriage, the eager onlookers would try to grab their clothing for good luck. Often times the bride (nor the groom) liked people trying to grab at them (shocker) which is why the tradition changed to tossing the garter so no one else would need to obtain it themselves. It’s said that in other cultures, people race/compete for the garter instead.
Now that you know the history, here’s some pros, cons, and other ideas!
- The biggest pro is that it’s tradition (well in some sense at least). If you still want to have a garter or bouquet toss, no problem! I’d first recommend having an extra of each so that you can keep your actual bouquet and garter for your own memories.
- The biggest con is that it can make single people feel left out (especially if most of the people at your wedding will be married). To keep with the idea of tradition but not make anyone feel bad, you could hand your bouquet to the couple that has been together the longest.
- Another con to the garter toss (and garter removal) is that it’s just awkward. No offense but no one REALLY wants to see your man under your dress grabbing at your lingerie with his teeth – especially your parents and grandparents. While it can be funny, it also makes several people uncomfortable. With that said, you do you.
- Another way to go about it is to still have a garter but just have your husband remove it in the privacy of your own room after the wedding. If you still wanted to do the toss with it, have him remove it privately in another room and then come back to the reception to toss it.
So, what can you do instead to fill the time?
- An anniversary dance for your parents and grandparents
- Shoe game
- If you still want to do the bouquet toss or hand out your bouquet but want to skip the garter toss, toss something else (like a football, stuffed animal, etc). You could also pretend to go down to get the garter but pull something else out (large granny panties, a doll, something else funny, etc).
- Girls only and guys only choreographed dances with your bridesmaids and groomsmen
- Split the bouquet (or have another one made to split) to give a part of it to each of the important women in your life. Some people also make a breakaway bouquet to toss.
- Dance with your grandparents
- The kissing game
- Just skip it and don’t replace it with anything else – there are so many people to talk to and songs to be danced to. There is no need to get caught up in a ton of “extras” if you don’t want
I hope this helped you to think about the pros and cons of all the options! Remember, this is YOUR wedding day so make sure to do what feels best for you and your partner.
Mary Taylor <3
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