Have you ever gotten this question? Or maybe ever thought about what it’s going to be like for you? If I had to count the number of times that someone asked me, “What’s married life like?” I would be counting on my hands and my toes! I’m not sure what people expect me to say when they ask this. Do they want me to say that it’s 100 times better than being engaged or that it’s way more difficult than I ever thought? Is something drastic supposed to change after you get married? Or maybe it’s just a conversation starter to check in after the wedding.
Some people think that tying the knot means they will feel more secure, more wanted, or even happier! I’m personally not a fan of thinking of marriage as “hard work” because I know that’s not my relationship. I’m not saying it’s all butterflies and rainbows but when you learn to communicate effectively, have similar wants and needs, and have respect for each other, marriage is actually easy. *gasp* You’re probably thinking, “Did she just say that?!” It doesn’t mean it doesn’t take “work” (because let’s face it even if something takes work it doesn’t mean that work has to be difficult)! In fact, I wouldn’t even call it work. I’d call it commitment, love, patience, and effort.
For us, not much changed when we got married – which is a surprise since we went from engaged and living in a two bedroom house alone to married and living at Robbie‘s grandparents house. Even when we were engaged there were no feelings of, “I can leave at any time – we aren’t married yet!” The moment I said yes to marrying Robbie was the moment he was going to be my forever. We spend just as much time together, go on just as many dates, and adventure like always.
They say you’re supposed to date your spouse and this couldn’t be more true. I recognize that things are easier for us because we don’t have children (or pets) yet but whether you have kids, animals, or no extras at all, dating your spouse is so important. Even couples that have been together for more than 50 years can still learn more about each other!
I’m not an expert when it comes to marriage but I do know why my marriage seems so easy. We’re constantly communicating how we feel, what we appreciate, and things that frustrate us. We have so much genuine love and respect for each other that yelling and name calling is not a thing in our house. If there’s a disagreement that is affecting us negatively, we talk about it right away! My advice for newly married couples is: don’t expect things to automatically change just because you’re married. They might change because you’ve never lived together before, never been intimate before, or never spent so much time together before but marriage isn’t the thing that changed. Marriage is what YOU make it. If you want things to change, you have to put in effort and communicate with your spouse now. Don’t wait to tie the knot to start having those conversations!
So, to answer everyone’s question: Married life is the same as engaged life (at least for us)! It’s just as fun, loving, and busy!