You’ve got your date and your venue and now you need to decide who to invite! Is it feeling more real yet?
Depending on your budget/personal preference you may be having a small wedding or a large wedding. Budget to some extent inevitably determines how many people you can invite. Sit down with your partner and each write out a list of who you need to be there (these are your “for sures”). This could include your immediate family members, someone else who helped raise you, grandparents, and your best friends. Then, write another list of wants. Who do you really want to be there but if your budget / venue can’t handle this many, you would still be able to carry on. This could include extended family, other friends, and family friends. Lastly, write a list of those you’d like there but wouldn’t mind if you didn’t have the room/budget for them. This could include your parents friends, coworkers, and other friends that you’re not as close with.
Things to remember:
- If your parents are paying for or contributing to the wedding, confirm with them their expectations of how many people they would like to invite.
- This is your wedding! If there are certain people you don’t want there, stand your ground.
- Find out your venue’s minimum and maximum number of guest requirements.
- Do you want this to be a kid free, all kids, or some kids wedding? For example: Our wedding is kid free minus our niece, two nephews, and a friend traveling from England who is bringing their two year old son. I will address different ways to make it clear to your guests who is and is not invited in another blog.
- People that are married or in long term relationships should both be invited. It is not required that others receive a plus one. It is personal preference and depends on the size/budget of your wedding.
- Do you want to allow everyone to bring a plus one or only allow named guests that you have invited?
- If certain people stress you out or give you anxiety and you think they may be trouble at your wedding, don’t invite them (unless you genuinely want them there). Some may think this one sounds obvious but the amount of posts I’ve read about this topic is astonishing.
- You don’t have to invite everyone all at once. You can send out your “for sures” first. Then, after you get some replies, see if you have enough no’s to invite more guests. This is a great way to stick to your budget.
- It doesn’t matter if your partner is inviting more people than you as long as you’re both happy with who you’ve both invited.
- Depending of who you are inviting, a lot may say no so be prepared to have a lot less than you invited. For those having a smaller wedding (under 50 guests), you may know that all those guests will show up and this may not be the case. Our wedding has a limit of 85 people and we are 99% about most of those guests – even the ones that haven’t RSVPed yet because they are almost all family members or long time friends that we know will do anything to be there!